My Perfectly Imperfect Rebuild
Oh yeah i’m an older woman who has a lot of stuff going on mentally like depression, anxiety and yes i even think adhd! Oh and manopause round two. I’ll explain later if i remember. The brain doesn’t always have a brain. But i wanted to start this blog because i cannot be the only woman in this whole universe that goes through brain fog, feeling sad or mad or irritated or some days you just cannot function like a normal (what is that) person would. I have no attention span anymore, I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it. Some days I’m happy as a pig in shit, other days I cannot stand the way I look in an outfit or my hair. Or I go through bouts where I want to clean everything but I don’t have the energy, or I have a bit of energy and I get started only to stop part way through and the mess just stays, days, weeks whatever. I’m not dirty or living in squalor like that may sound but I’m not. I get the basics done. Not all at once but done. It doesn’t matter, all of this affects my daily life in one way or another.
So all of that created this blog. I know there are others out there that are going through this same thing daily. I for a bit thought it was going crazy especially this past year. I tried the med contrave for depression and to help me lose weight, two birds one stone. (sorry auntie). But it sent me right off the rails. I had to slowly ween off of one depression medication to go onto this one. And while I was on it, I was horrible. I know it affects people differently but wow it totally helped amp up my chaos. One minute I was good, the next second I was either angry, irritated beyond irritated or crying like a baby. Everything was so personal. Everything was why me, what now, but it was 10 fold. I’m back on my regular meds now thank f…
(I swear like a sailor on normal days) so don’t hold it against me for now. It may turn into a regular thing as this blog continues to form as I become more myself. I consider this a form of healing and letting my true self come out.
So I apologize if this is all over the place but this is how my brain works. Sometimes I’m right on the money and then other times and sometimes, a lot, it’s chaos.
So if this all made sense and you’re a woman my age ish or younger, older, and it resignated with you please comment, i want to hear your stories.
I’m happy you’re still here….
FREEDOM FROM CHAOS “MY PERFECTLY IMPERFECT REBUILD”, where i try to learn to live with this new version of me. Change what I can, accept what I can’t and move forward with confidence and a new outlook for a somewhat not so chaotic future.